Anyone who's spoken to me on the phone recently will understand the title of this post. My phone, a "smart" phone is one of those objects that's more like a computer than a phone. I have to say that most of the time, when i'm using it as a computer/web browser, I love the thing. But as a phone, well, it's pretty dumb. I have it because my life is a little more portable than laptop these days with two babies and the business. I like to be able to do a certain amount of things truly on the go and a laptop just doesn't cut it. I also need two hands most of the time, even when I'm talking on the phone. And this particular smart phone has a cute little gyroscope that lets it know when I've moved it around. So I'll be talking along, and go to, say, change a diaper (a very likely scenario in my daily life!) and prop the phone on my shoulder to use both hands. It's at that magic moment that my phone thinks to itself, "Hello? Did you want to change your phone options? Are you finished with this phone call? May I hang up for you? Or, possibly, dial your voicemail? Are you needing my dialpad so you can press 3 to hear more options?" Since the phone is a "smart" phone, any contact with my warm human flesh, say, my cheek, will select any one of these options.
Poof! my call will vanish and my brother who is in the middle of needing my very solid advice will think I've hung up on him, or my husband, just calling to see how my day is going will end up hearing my voicemail.
All of you who know me well enough to chat on the phone with me frequently have gotten used to my "smart" phone being stupid and will patiently wait, saying, "I think your phone has done something naughty, are you still there?" and give me enough time to find the darn page with the phone call so they can hear me again. It is deeply annoying and I saw no way around it (being as attached to it's non-phone capabilities as a person could be) until I tried to use the phone with gloves on. It didn't work! Which of course meant that I had to knit a dumb sock for my smart phone.
The yarn: scraps of Madelinetosh tosh sock left over from knitting the girls matching socks. The pattern? cast on 48, work in K1, P1 rib for 1/2" continue in stockinette until the phone is mostly covered by the thing, graft the bottom together with kitchener stitch and blammo! your "smart" phone is now warm, and oddly uses less battery. (or at least mine is using less battery! Bonus!)
Now with it's little cozy I can comfortably prop my phone on my shoulder and never drop a call again. I know you're all relieved!